My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
