ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
