She's JV to your varsity
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
