I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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