yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
