my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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