When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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