We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
