You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
