Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ladies don't puke and tell
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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