After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
