Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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