ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
