We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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