Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize