So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
