well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
