please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
