Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
