That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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