Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
