It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
