I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
