okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
