in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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