I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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