ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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