I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
