Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
