is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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