gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
