I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize