hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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