umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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