Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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