I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
porn star boner night. come get it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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