Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
