woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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