The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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