he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
