got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
