So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
