Are we in a gay sports bar?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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