Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
