oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
