So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
