this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
