I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
love makes seman taste better
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
