Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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