Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
