so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
